Back at it

For whatever reason I took some time off from blogging. I can blame this on a) being lazy b) getting caught up with every day things or c) I can even make the excuse that I live in the most hectic city in the United States. I think it's fair to say that it is d) all of the above.

This past month has been a bit of a wake up call to say the least. Life has knocked on my door and said, "Hey Nicole, I know you are going through the challenges of what the mid-20's bring and although I have faced you with loss and confusion; you are still going to be OK."

Let's recap. Within the last month I have learned:

1) How fragile life can be
2) My appreciation for my family & friends
3) How much I miss home
4) To be more honest with myself and others
5) To be ok with the directions that I am going in
6) To put aside feelings of angst and replace them with forgiveness and solitude
7) To start balancing myself through art, reading, exercise, relationships, money, health (both physical and mental) etc...
8) To keep an eye on the 'Big Picture' and enjoy the process that it takes to obtain it
9) To define my own definition of 'Happiness'
and 10) To never settle for less then what I truly deserve


A word that has been embedded in my head lately is 'balance'. What does that mean to me? It has taken some time for me to recognize that I am a country girl at heart who is living in a fast pace, soul sucking city. The good thing about recognizing this is that I have more control then I think. Although I have my troubles with NYC, I know that I can make it into something that I love. I don't need to stay here forever, I refuse to. I do know that I need more time here to plant my imprint, be it through the intimidating art scene or simply through the concrete streets. I like it here, don't get me wrong. But I do know that someday I will reside in a place where the tall high rises and the smells of smog and roasted nuts will be replaced with fresh evergreen trees, flowers and campfire.

My 2 year NYC anniversary is coming up and what better way to spend it than by moving into a new apartment (for the 394839493 time). Even though I have become a professional at moving, this time around is going to be different. I feel more confident in the process (being that I have more control over my living situation) and I am actually excited to find a place that I can call home for another year or two. I envision having a kitchen with lemon painted walls with our pots and pans hanging from cork board just like how Julia has it in the movie Julie and Julia. I'd also like to invest in a garlic mincer along with glass mixing bowls and a food processor. Can you tell I've grown a passion for cooking lately? That should be added as number 11 on the list.

All in all life is good. I think it is too easy to fall on my knees with my head in my hands. I refuse to waste too much time over thinking. Balance balance balance. We all need it. We all crave it.